Paint Away Your Pain

"Creativity is the life raft that can save us when we don’t think we can survive riding any more waves of emotion."

~Marcella Nordbeck-Richardson

What do you do when you’re experiencing low vibration emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear? Do you turn to your favorite distractions like television or Facebook? Or do you run to a familiar vice like food, cigarettes, or alcohol?  

Although comforting, our distractions and vices only temporarily mask our pain. But art has the power to heal. Creativity is the life raft that can save us when we don’t think we can survive riding any more waves of emotion. So the next time you’re moving through a less-than-ideal situation, and suffering the emotional consequences, I invite you to turn to the canvas, the page, or another creative outlet. 
 

"Together Through What Separates" - Acrylic - 36x36" - $1647

I first learned of the healing power of art in 2002 during the 4-weeks I received art therapy as part of my recovery from life threatening depression. Every day for a month I got to play with paint, clay, and whatever else caught my creative fancy. And then one day I had a light bulb moment. I realized that creating – just for the simple joy of it – was what was missing from my life.  

I was reminded of art’s healing power 10 years later. I went searching for my estranged father, only to learn he was no longer living. A few months later I was still weighed down by heavy emotions of grief for the father I never really knew and the 3 brothers who didn’t want to talk about it him. 

Thankfully during this time I was studying A Course in Miracles with author and life-coach Tama Kieves. One night in Tama's living room I shared with her that I was so overcome by my emotional grief around my father, his absence, and his death, that I was no longer able to paint. My creativity felt completely blocked by my tormented emotions. Tama's advice? To paint away my pain.

I resisted, saying something like, “But I’m a spiritual painter! I want my paintings to be uplifting and inspiring.” But Tama responded by encouraging me to paint anyway. She reminded me of all the sad loves songs that express the universal feeling of heartbreak, but are soothing to others who are feeling similar pain and discomfort.  

I took Tama’s advice. In the days, and weeks, that followed I sat at my canvas, painting, while tears literally ran down my cheeks. But I kept painting. Eventually I stopped crying. And a couple of months later I  put the finishing touches on, “Together Through What Separates.” It remains one of my personal favorites.  

The 4 spirals are symbolic of me and my 3 brothers who I will always love and for whom I feel a deep emotional connection do despite the years, and miles, between us. And although I was feeling intense emotional pain when I created it, when I look at the painting today I feel forgiveness for what was and acceptance for what was not. And I feel even more certain of art’s power to heal.

 

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"Together Through What Separates" is 1 of 3 paintings currently available for sale in the Art at the Armory art show in Brighton, Colorado. Show runs through Friday, April 18, 2014. Visit Events page for details.
 

Left to Right: "Together Through What Separates," "Imaginative," and "Rise"
Each: Acrylic, 36x36", $1647

 

Power of the Pages

Working in the studio on "Through Veils of Illusion"

Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, says that to recover as an artist we must be willing to be a bad artist. She encourages us to approach our art as play. But how do I allow myself to play when there are bills to pay?

I have the same day job I did 3 years ago – the last time I did The Artist’s Way and was a guest blogger for the book’s publisher, Tarcher/Penguin. But I’ve since gone down to 4-days to focus more on my art. With the reduction in hours came a reduction in steady income so I feel pressure to be successful. When I approached my art as a hobby, I didn’t care if I didn’t get accepted into a show or went months between sales. But now that I’m making a living honoring the creative call, I need Julia’s advice on removing creative blocks more than ever.

The morning pages are helping. However, I don’t call them morning pages. I just call them pages because I tend to write during my lunch break. On my days off, I often write earlier in the day. But since I’m a night owl, and I like to work in the studio into the wee hours, it’s often a struggle for me to get out of bed early enough just to get to work on time.

The last time I did The Artist’s Way I cheated on my pages. Julia recommends writing freehand, allowing a stream-of-consciousness to flow out onto your pages, James Joyce style. I thought I could write my 3 pages faster, to get the task over with, if I typed my pages. But I would find myself editing as I typed, disrupting the flow.

This time around I may not be writing my pages in the morning. But I am writing them – freehand – in a spiral bound notebook with a pen. I’ll be honest though, I hate the process. My hand cramps up. My neck starts to hurt. But it works!

For example, I have visions of combining my love for painting with my love for dancing as performance art. The idea exhilarates me, but the thought of following through absolutely terrifies me. Recently I was expressing the fear of this idea in my pages and then I wrote, “Baby steps. Keep painting. Take dance lessons. It will evolve naturally on its own.”

What?! Who wrote that? Certainly not me!

I was writing about my struggle with my creative fears, but then this encouraging voice of wisdom channeled through me, telling me exactly what I needed to hear in that moment . And that’s when I got it, the power of the pages. When we release our thoughts and emotions onto the page, we open ourselves to receive guidance from our higher, creative, self.

"Through Veils of Illusion"

Since starting to write pages again I finished a new 36 x 36” abstract painting titled, “Through Veils of Illusion.” The experience creating that piece was unlike any I’d ever had while painting before. It too felt channeled. I’d lose myself in the paint, having no sense of time. When I would step back I couldn’t believe that what was on the canvas came from me. It’s better – looser and freer – than anything else I’ve painted. I believe this evolution occurred in my work because the pages allow me to dump the junk in my head so that I can be completely present to the creative flow when I sit in front of the canvas. So, yeah pages!

Maybe between now and my next post I’ll have an epiphany around weekly artist dates. I have yet to find the time to schedule one. Julia says that resisting our artist dates is our fear of self-intimacy. Hmmm… I’ll explore that concept next time as I continue to live The Artist’s Way.

“Through Veils of Illusion,” can be seen in Art at the Armory now through Thursday, March 7 at the Armory at Brighton Cultural Center, located at 300 Strong St, Brighton, CO 80601. Show is open to the general public to view during business hours Monday through Friday, 9 am to 5 pm. A reception for the selected artists from DenverArtists.com will be held on Saturday, January 26 from 5 to 9 pm. Refreshments will be served as you mingle with the artists and enjoy the sounds of Mezzo Mestiz, an acoustic trio from Boulder. Reception is free and open to the public!